27. Looking for Mr. Goodbar

Which ride should I share with you tonight? 

Maybe I should share about the carload of scantily clad drunk girls who were rushing a sorority and one of their assignments was to go get food for some guy in a fraternity. And apparently all of the girls rushing a sorority this week had to wear bikini tops and short skirts. These four girls were doing just that… one of them with a skirt that was way too short. I wanted to warn her of what she was showing but I felt that would be inappropriate. They had gotten into the car very rambunctiously, trying to squeeze five in (I told them four was the limit and they grumbled) but got out very politely, thanking me for the ride. They then went to go order late night chicken for some frat guy who was probably bragging to his bros that he had a bunch of pretty girls at his beck and call. 

Maybe I should share about the carload of drunken women I picked up from their dorm, two of which wanted to go to ‘Bags (short for “Dirtbag’s”) and two of them wanted to go to “Pigs“ (which I don’t know what it is short for)… They were screaming and yelling at each about where to go the whole ride. The car rocked back and forth as I drove. The one who had made the ride threatened that if there was a line at ‘Bags, she would change the destination in a heartbeat. There WAS a line, but I ended the ride before she could change the destination. Oops. Gotta get out, ladies.

How about I share about the 60-something year old gentleman I picked up from a bar wearing his “NOT TONIGHT LADIES“ shirt? He had a fun drunken time at the bar and was happy for ride share drivers who drove him home when he was drunk and would never make them change the radio or turn on the AC or do anything other than drive because it was their car and he was appreciative… as we pulled up to his house he asked me if I wanted a bump to get me through the knife. I politely declined.

No, I think I will share with you the tale of the young woman I picked up from work so that I could take her home. I asked her how she was, and she told me her fiancé was supposed to pick her up, but he had forgotten. That sounded ominous. 

She started the conversation very pleasantly, with the customary “where are you from” and “how long have you been driving”, etc. etc. She said she had just been in San Diego last week with her dad and they had taken a ride share where the driver was a 71-year-old man who had been driving for four years now. Her father was also 71 and the two old men struck up a conversation and apparently built up quite a friendship during the ride.

She told me that driving people must be wonderful and relaxing. She said that the driver in San Diego really liked meeting people and talking to them. He was retired and driving was very relaxing for him and a way to get out of the house.

I told her driving was very relaxing to me, as well, and that was one of the main reasons I enjoyed it. I told her I also liked to meet people and talk to them… but not everybody likes to talk. She told me, she’s one who likes to talk! I told her to feel free.

She started by asking me what music I liked, and I told her everything and she said she did, too. She then asked me if I liked to dance, and I told her I did but have two left feet and zero coordination so I can’t do any practical dances. She told me there was a place she went to that taught all kinds of dance moves, a Fred Astaire Dance Studio or something. She said she liked to dance but wasn’t good at it, but she learned a little.

She then went on to tell me that she thought she should call off the engagement with the new boyfriend. This was kind of out of the blue, but I remembered the tone she had when she talked about how he forgot to pick her up, so I should have been expecting it. 

They had only been dating for a couple of months when he popped the question. While it seemed very sudden to her, she had said yes because she felt that maybe it could work and that she was getting up there in years.

I had to ask the forbidden question, “How old are you?!?”

I figured she was in her mid to late 20s. She said she was 37. I was a little flabbergasted. She did not look or sound it. She was so happy and upbeat… I figured in your late 30’s, you develop that cold cynicism.

She said that her age was one of the reasons that she thought she should get married. She still wanted to have children. But she didn’t want to marry the wrong person. Her mother had also told her that she shouldn’t get married unless she felt it was right and that’s how her parents had been married for nearly 50 years. I told her I agreed.

She then said that this was her third engagement. I was a little astounded. I asked her if she was the one who had called them off or if the guy had. I probably should’ve kept quiet but couldn’t help myself. She said she was the one who ended things both times. She told me that she had felt bad about both broken engagements because her parents had put money into the weddings and now that money was wasted. But she reminded me that her mother had told her to not get married unless she was absolutely sure that it was the right man.

She called off the first one because he wasn’t the man that she thought he was after they got engaged. He was a nice enough man, he hadn’t done anything abusive, but he changed after they got engaged. He was still nice and all but there were things she noticed and a big one was how he viewed God, something very important to her.

While they were dating, he was always going to church every week and talked about his closeness with God. But after they got engaged, he stopped going to church. Not altogether but stopped going weekly and he would just go on the holiday occasions. His tone about religious things had changed and he was not interested in raising their kids to be Christian. This was the dealbreaker for her as she definitely wanted her kids to be Christian.

The second engagement was called off because her fiancé‘s mother had been mean to her. She gave me a few examples. The mother would always make comments about her body size saying that her son normally liked girls who were more petite. From what I had seen of the woman when she got into the car, she was pretty petite. A size 2 or 4 maybe. She was also a brunette and the mother told her that her son normally likes blondes. I agreed that those were very rude things to say. She said the mother always would say, “I’m just saying…” after making those kinds of comments.

She had tried to get along with the mother. She arranged for them to go out to dinner together for the mother’s birthday. The mother resisted, saying that it was a waste of money to go to some fancy restaurant, when they could eat at home, but the girl said it was her pleasure to do this.

When they got to the restaurant, she saw the woman was there as well and said “Oh, I didn’t think you were going to be at my birthday as well.” The whole thing had been the younger woman’s idea in the first place.

Apparently, the fiancé never stood up for her. One Christmas, the mother had bought her a dress. The girl noticed the dress was two sizes too small for her and told the mom that she would not be able to get into it at this time.

The mother commented, “Well maybe this will be incentive for you to do something about that. But please try it on and see if you can get into it. I would like to see what it looks like.”

She tried to say no over and over but the mother was insistent. She finally got into it and the mother brought her downstairs to show the other people who were there for Christmas and said to them, “I told you she wouldn’t fit into it… but maybe this will be incentive for her to do something about it as a New Year’s resolution for my son.”

She said that to the entire group. I told her that I could understand why she would call off the engagement after that.

As we reached the end of the ride, she told me that still wanted to get married and was thinking this third guy might still have a chance. He was nice and working and churchgoing and this was really his first strike.

She smiled and winked at me, and I laughed out loud. I wished her the best and told her she was the most upbeat passenger I had ever had, and her positive spirit was intoxicating and a joy. And I said to only get married if you were absolutely sure. She said God would let her know as well.

I hope the next time she calls her fiancé needing a ride that he doesn’t forget.

And that God makes sure he remembers.