17. He Likes Turtles

Which tale from the road should I share tonight?

 

Should I tell the tale of the young lady I picked up at the gentlemen‘s club who got into the car and heard Bonnie Tyler‘s “Holding Out For a Hero” playing asked me to crank it and then started rocking out in my backseat and then thanked me for the song by buying me a burrito?

 

Or should I tell the tale of the two young ladies I picked up who spent the entire ride discussing the proper ways to mix a cocktail to not make it too sweet because it should also include some tartness, how they were new fans of a sloe gin fizz, and making a special note to say none of them should include GoldSchlager.

 

No, I think I will talk about the young couple I picked up coming out of the movies, something the young man definitely wanted me to know. I politely asked what movie they had seen. I suspected “Barbie”. He replied, “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles”. I said, “Cool.”

 

Then he went on to tell me how much he loved the movie. How it focused more on the teenage aspect of the turtles than the mutant or ninja aspects as all the previous incarnations had done. He liked that it wasn’t all dark and gritty like the previous ones but more fun. He appreciated Seth Rogen‘s take on the turtles. And then did a Seth Rogen impersonation. He also noted that April was not a wasted character. He said he was happy that the movie didn’t end hanging, like it should have a sequel.

 

But he was sad there was no Shredder in it, which may upset die hard TMNT fans and he thought that if they do a second one, that’s where Shredder will be.

 

He then went on to tell me how he would appreciate it if they could make a new Masters of the Universe movie that was as good as this TMNT movie. I reminded him of the Dolph Lundgren version from the 80’s and he said “Oh yeah, but that was horrible!” He said Skeletor wasn’t bad, (the brilliant Max Von Sydow, but I didn’t bring that up) and he cares more for a good Skeletor than a good He-Man.

He then transitioned into the Conan the Barbarian movies, where he said, he loved James Earl Jones, but hoped they would make one more faithful to the original books. Arnold was not to his liking.

He then went on to tell me he wished they would do a live action Gundam movie. He said with the political climate of today and the advances in CGI, that they could do a really great movie. He would love to see a movie where giant robots are being made by today’s car companies, like Honda or Volkswagen, and see what kind of war robots they would develop.

 

He then asked me if I knew who “Cowboy BeBop” was and I replied with a, “mm hmm,” and then he went off about how that would also be a great movie. So much material and he felt Hollywood wasn’t taking advantage of it.

 

He was so very excited to tell me all his thoughts and, with the exception of my mentioning the MOTU and a few “Mm hmms”, I sat patiently and quietly listened to him the whole time.

 

As the ride was ending, he turned to the young lady who was with him and asked her what she thought of the movie. She had not spoken a word for the entire ride. I did not hear her reply as we reached their destination because she was talking as they exited the vehicle.

 

I hope she enjoyed the movie.

 

Especially if he hoped to ever take her out again.