43. Is there a thing as too much partying?

I was called to pick up someone from what looked like an ordinary house. As I got closer, I saw a huge throng of people pouring out of the house. My passenger saw me and ran towards the car. He got in introduced himself and we were on our way. 

As I pulled away, I saw two firetrucks coming our direction. I jokingly asked him if he thought they were going to that house. He said he wouldn’t doubt it. 

He asked me if I had lived here long and wondered if I had gone to the University. I told him no on both accounts. He said he was amazed at the level of partying this school does. He just transferred here from Chicago and he thought they partied there but it was nothing to the level of this university. And he did not say that like it was cool or he was impressed. He said it in an almost frightened way.

He said almost every night is a party at this school. Especially Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. Oh, and Saturdays because of the football games. Even when they don’t have a game in town, the school parties hard.

I said I normally steer clear of the university here, but everywhere I’ve lived, Thursday was a college night. He told me that was not the case in Chicago. I did tell him that I was surprised to hear about Tuesdays though, as I didn’t imagine that to be a party night, but that was normally the night I took off. 

He said Tuesdays were pretty crazy. I told him Wednesdays were a pretty crazy night around town for college kids because a lot of bars offered dollar beers to for “Wild Wednesdays”. He said that was the one night he wasn’t aware of but he would steer clear of that wildness as it was one of the few nights his dorm was quiet enough to study and his frat bros weren’t dragging him to another party. 

He went on to say he wasn’t sure that he was going to be back again next year. They partied too much for him here. He wondered if they ever got any homework done. he was in a frat that he had joined back in his school in Chicago, and when he came here and met his frat brothers at this school, he couldn’t understand how they can party and drink so much. 

He was going to try and transfer to a Chicago college next year where he might be able to do focus more on studying. His  family were legacies at Northwestern, but he hadn’t had the grades to go there. That’s how he wound up here. He was hoping to focus on his grades here so he could get them good enough to transfer to Northwestern. But with all the partying, he wasn’t sure that was going to be possible.

As we pulled up to his dorm, he commented that he was surprised that there were no cop cars parked outside tonight. Normally, when he came back home, there would always be two or three police cars dealing with problems in the dorm. I told him, maybe it was a good night. A quiet night. He said, “It’s still early.” 

It was 1:30 AM.

42. Business Strategy

Two women got into my car today who were apparently in town for a conference. They were comparing notes on what each other did. They both ran their own businesses that dealt with setting up booths and displays for businesses at trade shows.

The back and forth of their businesses was not interesting to me. What was interesting was what they talked about next.

They both agreed the most difficult part of their business was finding enough dedicated employees to work for them. They complained that Millenials were all so demanding of their job requirements. They only wanted to work two or three days a week. They didn’t want to work weekends. Obviously, they applied for the job and didn’t read what the job required.

Some of these Millenials took on jobs but then made their demands for less hours. They were told in the interview that they might have to work overtime often and weekends. They either quit or were let go. These businesspeople were surprised how hard it was to keep or find people. Don’t Millenials have bills to pay? They remember when they were hired how much they appreciated their jobs and would work whatever they had to so they wouldn’t be fired. 

One said it was due to the pandemic but the other said this problem was happening before the pandemic. It had gotten worse since. There was no loyalty to a company. And they didn’t want to hire people who weren’t going to give their all to their companies. They worked hard to build them up and would not let them fall because of staff who were not equally as focus and dedicated to the company. 

Then one asked how things had been going for the other since the pandemic. She replied that she had taken some time off to get more focused. She had been working so much that she had lost focus at the company and so she took six months off to clear her head and make sure she had a clearer vision of her goals. She decided to narrow operations at the company to make it easier to focus on one goal instead of the many that she had always tried to force.

The other said she had also taken time off. She had been working so much, she felt she had neglected her children and family and wanted to spend more time with them. She also realized she needed to do less at work so she could spend more time with them. She took this sabbatical as a method to learn to relax and not kill herself with stress. Now that she was getting back, she had a new vision that was less work and more time for herself and her family. Her husband saw how it was a positive change for her and was following suit. So, while he had been the primary bread winner while she was rejuvenating, she would be the bread winner while he was for the next six months. 

I dropped them off at the hotel where they were having their conference. It was one of my old workplaces! I got out and talked to the valets who updated me on what was going on. Said there was a new GM and they were all being worked to the bone. I got out at the right time. Told them I really enjoyed my new gig as a driver.

As I drove off, I thought about the two businesswomen and their conversation. Everything that they took issue with about Millenials were things they had issue with in their own lives and acted on those issues as the Millenials wanted to. 

But the Millenials were being pro-active, while these two women waited until they were nearly burned out. Millenials wanted to work less. These women both said they had restructured their lives and their companies so they could work less. Millenials wanted more time off. Maybe to spend with their families or to have time for themselves? These women both expressed how they needed to create more time for their families and themselves. 

I wondered if these two realized that what the Millenials were asking for is what they realized they needed? Maybe if they hired people and gave them the same things that they realized they needed in their own lives, they would find those dedicated employees who would work hard for a company that understood that their lives were not their jobs. That, while the job is important, time for themselves was also important and working 50+ hours a week shouldn’t be a requirement of any job. 

41. The mystery of the cross town ride… can you solve it?

OK, for tonight’s rideshare I am going to leave it up to you, the reader, to tell me what you think happened.

I picked up a passenger from a 7-Eleven who said they were going to a destination across town, a Motel 6. 

I said, “OK.” 

They said they were on a time constraint and had been waiting for a yellow cab for the past 20 minutes, but it never showed.  They then called for a ride share and was thankful that I was there so fast. They cancelled the taxi.

We started driving towards their destination which was about 25 minutes away. They asked me if it would be ok if I could stop somewhere with an ATM on the way. They just needed to stop off and get some money and would be really quick. 

I said, “Ok.”

They then said that they would only be at the motel to make a payment and then would be coming right back. I told them that the app said I’m only dropping them off there and if they wanted me to take them back, they would need to add a destination. They did not know how to do that and kind of started freaking out. I told them I would help them out with that. I pulled the car over, got their phone and changed it to add the new destination of their returning home. 

As we took off again, they then said their phone was dying. They said at the motel kept texting them asking them when they were going to be there. I told them it was about another 20 minutes. Before they could let the person at the motel know, they said their phone died and they started freaking out again.

I told them that I had a phone charger they could use to charge their phone, but it was only good for an iPhone. They said that was great because they had an iPhone… An iPhone 7. 

Well, the charger still worked on the 7 and I pulled over to plug in their phone. It didn’t start charging immediately and they started freaking out again. I told them it would take a few minutes to charge and then they could get back on the phone. 

They then said reiterated that they also needed me to stop somewhere so they could pull out some money. Like a 7-Eleven or Circle K. I asked them if they had a bank they used, in case we passed one along the way I could stop there for them, and they could avoid extra service charges. They said the 7-Eleven or Circle K or QT or any 24 hour gas station would work. 

As they waited for their phone to charge enough to be used, they just kept getting more and more nervous worried if the guy would wait for them. The phone finally reached a charge that was enough to start it up and they instantly got on and started texting. 

They asked me again how long we were from there now and I told them it was about another 12 minutes. They then also quickly added that I shouldn’t  forget that they needed to get money. The next 7-Eleven I saw, I pulled over. 

They said they would only be a minute. Before they got out, they asked me again how far we were from the destination. I said another eight minutes. They ran and got the money. On their way out, she gave one of the homeless people waiting outside the store some money and then ran back to my car. 

They were very gracious the whole time, not rude at all, but very, very nervous. We reached the Super 8 and parked. They then started texting again saying they weren’t sure where this guy they were supposed to meet was at. 

A white car pulled into the parking lot and they said they were told he would be driving a white car, so that must be it. They told me to please hold on and they then got out and ran to the white car which pulled into the lot and parked. I sat there and waited. 

After about five minutes (and they had at least 10 minutes between rides), they ran back to my car, hopped in, and thanked me for waiting. 

They relaxed in the backseat and didn’t say anything on the entire ride back. They said they wanted to tip me in cash, but had given their last five to the homeless person. But if I would stop at a 7-Eleven, they could get more cash. I told them that it was OK and if they wanted to, they could tip me on the app. I’m not expecting a tip, but I didn’t want to stop at a 7-Eleven again. 

They got out of my car after we pulled into their apartment complex. They thanked me and were very gracious. They then ran off into their apartment with some speed. 

My question for you, my intrepid readers, is what do you think was going on?

Oh, and for the record… no tip. 

40. Flogging Molly

The ride I will share with you today, I wil call him “Warren“… because his name is WARREN. I picked up Warren at the University, and he got in the seat behind me. Normally passengers like to get in the seat behind the passenger seat, but I don’t care one way or the other.

We were driving along and Warren was being pretty quiet. I was listening to the music. It sounded like Warren was whispering to someone and so I turned the music down a few notches in case it was too loud for him. 

I couldn’t really see him in my rearview mirror since he was in the seat behind me. I turned my head slightly to get a glimpse but he was crouched down to whoever he was talking to. Guessing it was a private conversation so I wasn’t going to snoop further. 

Then I heard what sounded like stilted breathing. Wasn’t quite sure what he was up to. I figured maybe he was doing a few lines. Out of sight, out of mind for me. As long as he didn’t spill any or any cops pulled me over. 

But my curiosity did get the best of me. I adjusted the mirror a little to see if I get a better view. Warren was stooped over and I could only see the top of his head. He was still talking to somebody, but very very quietly. I could hear the S’s his conversation but couldn’t quite make out all the words… then I was sure I heard a slight groan. 

I realized what Warren was doing and slammed on my brakes. Warren hit his head on the back of my seat and yelped. I put the car in park and jumped out, opened the back door, grabbed him by the ear and lead him out of my car to the curb. 

He was screaming “what the fuck?!!“ as I dragged him to the curb and threw him down. He hadn’t had time to pull his pants back up and he was on the sidewalk, bare assed.

Several people were around andstopped and wondered what was going on. I’m sure a few of them pulled out their cell phones. I screamed “Not in my car Warren!” I was about to tell him something along the lines of “you are no longer allowed to have rideshare privileges…” And then I heard a voice in my car. 

I went back to the car and saw the phone was on the floor. There was someone on the phone going “Warren? Warren! What’s going on?” I hadn’t heard the guy because Warren had ear buds in but they must have disconnected when I pulled him out of the car. 

I picked up the phone and saw they had been FaceTiming. I looked at the gentleman on the phone and said, “Show’s over.” 

I turn to see Warren running down the street pulling up his pants and cursing me out. People were recoding everything. Maybe it’ll go viral. 

I tossed the phone into traffic. Watched a truck take it out. I’m sure I will pay for that later. I contacted the ride share driver support and let them know about the incident, so they could make sure Warren wouldn’t be getting any more rides. 

If you haven’t figured out what Warren was doing in the back seat of my car, allow me to share with you a number of euphemisms: 

Flogging molly, auditioning your hand puppet, marching the penguin, shaking hands with the milkman, polishing the banister, celebrating Palm Sunday, shucking the corn, badgering the witness, going on a date with Palmela Handerson, adjusting the antenna, the five finger shuffle, jerkin’ the gherkin, relishing your hot dog, cuddle the kielbasa, slapping the salami, tickling the ivory, choking the chicken, free Willy, fiddling the flesh flute, polish the helmet, exercising your right, spanking, the monkey, buff the banana, applying the handbrake, visiting Rosie Palms, pound the pud, priming the pump, strain the main vein, beating the meat, whacking off… if you’re still not sure: masturbating. 

I don’t know if he was doing this for his boyfriend or for his Only Fans or Snapchat or YouTube Channel or as a frat initiation or for cheap thrills, and I don’t care. That is NOT a mess I want to clean up.

And I decided I had driven enough for the day. First thing tomorrow, we go to the car wash and have the do exterior AND interior. 

39. A Night I’d Like to Forget

Well, this was a night I’d like to forget. It’s been a week I’d like to forget. Having personal problems that make me want to… they just make me want to… I don’t know. I tried to fix them but looks like they’re not getting resolved any time soon. But that’s a story for another blog.

Instead of going into my personal issues, let me share about some of the rides tonight. Most passengers pushed it to the brink of the wait time. Many were not at the locations they had put into the app and expected me to find them. Many got in smelling like something inhuman. Don’t think I gave any passengers a five star rating and I’m guessing they didn’t give me any. They certainly didn’t give me any tips. 

There was the man who texted me “he would be out in a minute” and by “a minute”, he meant ten. I should have left after the seven minute mark, but he had texted me. Then he got in my car and smelled like he had bathed in curry. So much Lysol was used. 

There was the fitness instructor I picked up from his gym who commented that I could use his services and offered to whip me into shape, but I’m not sure exactly what shape, since he and I shared similar shapes, which is to both say we were both very doughy, as in our shapes were formed by fried dough. 

There was the drunk I picked up from a bar who took seven minutes to close his tab and got into the car reeking of beer and cigarettes and asked me to stop at a Circle K on the way so he could get a bottle of water and I obliged him and then he took ten minutes and forgot he was getting water and instead got a twelve pack of PBR, a “little hair of the dog” for the morning.

There were the two 40 something year old women who were half a mile from the location they put into the app and called me to come pick them up at the “correct” location. They had a drunk 20 something year old man with them who were promising him the time of his life, and wondering if he could keep up with them. I dropped them at another bar so they could get him drunker, I guess.

There were the three Millennials I picked up from a downtown bar who also took their time saying goodbye to everyone at the bar.  The one sitting behind me silently mocking my musical choices to the other passengers, thinking I couldn’t see him, or not caring that I could and then these three then went off about how Boomers and Gen Xers could all go fuck themselves because they were a bunch of straight assholes who fucked up the planet and they laughed and laughed. The one behind me commented how a “taxi driver” probably wouldn’t get what they were saying, so they shouldn’t worry about their comments.

There was the exit gate to the apartment complex that would not open, no matter how close I got, in fact, I got close enough to start pushing it open, but I did not want to break it. So, I had to climb over the fence and punch in the code to open the gate and run back to my car to drive through it before it closed again. I am not a runner anymore. But I am happy to say I managed to get through before it closed.

And having been lucky enough to get out of that complex, I then called it a night. 

38. Driving with Pride

Parents Weekend at the University brought a lot of rides. The more interesting stories were not from the parents or families, though. Most of them were short rides taking them from one party to another or to the big game or to some place for brunch. The main conversation when I had a family in the car was about how attracted the mom was to some friend of their kids or that dad could drink his kid under the table.

So, which ride to share?

There was the young lady from Kansas City who heard Taylor Swift play in my car and went to tell me how Taylor, her favorite singer, dating Travis Kelce, her favorite football player, was like a match made in Heaven for her. She went into great detail. 

But that’s not the ride I want to share.

There was the foreign family I picked up from Golden Corral who got into my car and I could smell ever item they consumed coming out of the pores of their skin and how they shared with each others the wonders of the all you can eat options.

Nah. 

There were the two blind passengers who I helped find the back door handles, which can be tricky with sight on my vehicle, and they said that they appreciated the way I showed them without condescension. Then we talked  sports the whole ride, she’s from Vancouver and loves hockey and was even a goalie when she was young, and he prefers sports without balls like track and field and he was quite the sprinter. 

They were awesome and definitely a good story and came in a close second.

But while it was Parents Weekend, it www also the end of Pride Week. And that’s the story I will share.

I picked up two young ladies in the afternoon from a dive bar downtown. After they got in, one of them put down the window (I originally wrote “rolled down the window” but we don’t do that any more, do we?) so she could scream compliments at a family of bikers on the corner, giving special attention to the father who had long hair, a long greying beard, a leather vest with long fringe, leather chaps, and biker boots.

The girl who called the ride, we’ll call her “Izzy”, was the quieter of the two, but a fun one nevertheless.  Let’s call her “Maddie”. Strictly as an identifier. Maddie asked Izzie about a friend of hers and wondered if that friend would like a full experience of lesbian love. Izzy told her that the friend had a boyfriend she had been with for a long time. This was not a deterrent to Maddie, though, and continued to go on how happy she could make that friend.

We drove past a parade of people going to the big game, all wearing university attire, and the ladies commented about how they reviled the patriarchy and especially the frat boys. They went and listed the classic frat guy names like “Brandon” and “Kyle” and “Taylor” and how they should all be rounded up. I was not in disagreement. 

Maddie talked about how she would love to meet with some of the drunk moms who were running around trying to pick up their kids’ friends. She went into great detail about how she could turn them to her ways. 

As we approached their destination, Maddie questioned Izzy if this was the right place, as it was a park where there didn’t seem to be much happening but a family family picnics. Izzy said this is where she was told the gathering was. 

It was then that I learned they were going to an end of Pride Week festival. But I didn’t see any gathering whatsoever. Honestly, I didn’t even know it was Pride Week until that point.  The whole week had gone by and I had not seen or heard anything about Pride Week in the city. It made me feel like either I lost touch with what was going on in the world or if the world I was in was really out of touch.

As we stopped, Maddie said she was sorry about all her ribald conversation and I told her there was no need to apologize. I totally agreed with them on the patriarchy and especially about frat guys. 

They got out and thanked me for the ride. Maddie looked at the park and told Izzy she didn’t think anything was there and they might have to crash a quinceañera if there was no festival.

She then turned to me and said she may be calling me back in a few minutes because she could not see any fellow lesbians at this park.

I told her I would be happy to drive them again.