Which ride to share tonight…
The grumpy older gentleman who told me about his “nosy, neighbor b****h“ always getting up in his business when he called a ride share and how he used to drive rideshare, but before all the “ridiculousness”, and since they took away all of the cool perks and benefits of ride sharing because “stupid masking” and never brought them back when it was over, he thougg it wasn’t worth it to drive these“snot nosed, college punks“ around without any bonuses, so he quit…
Or the two gentlemen I picked up from a comic store, who I thought I might have a lot in common with, but after they got into my vehicle and started grumbling about the employees of the store about how they didn’t know anything because the Snyder movies were the best, better than anything Gunn had done, and so that was where I decided not to converse with these two, because I believe Snyderbots are as bad as MAGAts…
I think I will share the ride of the young lady I picked up from the country/western drinking establishment who was in tears as she got into the back of my vehicle.
I greeted her with my customary “Hello” and instinctively asked, “How are you?” to which she aptly responded, “How do you think I am?”
I apologized and noter that it obviously it had not been a good night. She told me it had been a terrible night. It had been a terrible week! She now hated Halloween!
I decided the better part of decorum would be to remain quiet. She felt otherwise. She was quick to talk and told me that her boyfriend was in the club, dancing all night long… with every other girl, but not her.
She did not know why… and so, she confronted him on it. He said he was just having fun. He told her that she knew it had been a hard week for him. But it had been a hard week for her, too, she told me.
She didn’t understand why he was being that way. They had come out tonight because it has been a hard week for both of them and they wanted to cut loose and dance. She wanted to have fun with him, but he seemed to want to dance with everyone else but her.
He told her she didn’t understand. She told him that she didn’t and asked him to explain it to her. He told her if she loved him, she should understand. She’s always saying she loves him but doesn’t seem to ever understand what he is going through.
This almost caused her to break down. She had been trying to be understanding about everything, especially after what happened over the weekend, but he just seemed to be ignoring her all night.
And now that she was asking him about it, he was laying the blame on her. He had been having fun dancing with other girls all night, while she had been waiting at the bar for him to ask her to dance. She was not having fun, and so she felt she should ask him about it. He told her she could’ve come out to the dance floor at any time and joined them. Why did he have to ask her?
She told me that they had had a fight the previous weekend, which was Halloween weekend, at a frat party. He had spent all his time at this party talking to this girl she didn’t like who was dressed as a slut. And he was completely ignoring her, his girlfriend.
When she confronted him about it, he said they were just talking and she should relax. She stormed off and was looking to leave and asked a friend to go with her. Her friend said he was just drunk and not to let it get to her. She told her that she needed to “relax” or she was going to scare him off.
She apologized to him the next day, feeling that maybe she had been too needy. He told her that she was becoming possessive and she shouldn’t because she was his girlfriend and she needed to trust that. She told me that she apologized for how she acted as well she said.
She said she was trying not to be possessive tonight, but after three hours of it, she had had enough. She was hurt. She told him that he was acting just like her ex did.
He always hung out with other girls and she found out she was fucking a bunch of other girls. He told her that he was astounded she would compare him to her ex. He had never cheated on any girl ever. And he walked away from her and was pissed off.
She started crying and went to talk to her friend about it. Her friend told her that she really needed to stop clinging on to him hard and let him have his space. When she told her friend that he was acting just like her ex, her friend said “Well, maybe that’s why he’s your ex. Do you want that to happen again?”
At that point, she said she walked away from her friend and called for me.
When I pulled up, she was already waiting outside alone. It was relatively early for college kids to be calling it a night on a Thursday, but obviously, she was done.
After she told me her story, I really didn’t know what to say to her. And so it thought it best that I say nothing. She started to calm down a bit, and asked me if she thought I she should apologize to him. I felt like I was walking on thin ice on saying anything. What the hell did I know? I told her it sounded like he was the one who hurt her, but turned it around to the point where she was the one that heard him.
She told me that the friend who told her to give him space tonight was the same friend who told her to apologize last weekend.
I said, “I think you need to do what you feel is right for you.” I have come to realize that I don’t have answers for these kinds of situations anymore. Especially when I don’t know both sides of the story.
In my stupidity, I asked if she thought apologizing would help and if she loved him enough to forgive him. She said she loved him. And, I thought, that should be enough, right? If she loved him, she should except him for everything he is, right? Isn’t that what loving someone is? I did not say ANY of that out loud. I was not looking to put a match to that gas can.
The young lady was obviously upset. It did not seem her friend was much comfort to her. I doubted I could be. I hoped she might find the answers herself, or maybe had another friend she could confide in. I was not a therapist, by any means. But I felt bad that I was no help to her.
I dropped her off at her dorm, and she thanked me for listening. I don’t know if I was any help or if I made matters worse. I did not want to be the cause of her breaking up… or her staying together. I was hoping she would find her own answers to that dilemma. Maybe the boyfriend would realize he had hurt her. Maybe he wouldn’t and she wouldn’t take it. Maybe the sun will rise and everything will be forgiven and forgotten. She just seemed like a powered keg ready to explode and I felt for her.
You can’t light a fire without a spark…
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