52. The Rescuers

OK, which ride do I share with you from this past Halloween weekend? 

How about the one where I picked up two very sweet older ladies from a comedy show they had gone to see on Saturday night. They were very talkative all the way to their home, telling me they were former teachers, who appreciated ride sharing as it allowed them to go out for an evening of fun, because neither of them could drive at night anymore. They were very interesting, but… nah. 

How about the McDonald’s employee I picked up at the end of his shift who was very enthusiastic about his job. He talked incessantly about McDonald’s, really selling me their product. He told me about their new sauces to ask for, especially the spicy jam which went really good on McDoubles. He said they had run out of the Halloween boxes, which was three days before Halloween, but they were a very popular item as all the kids loved them (and so did collectors). He let me know the Mc rib was coming back in a few weeks and was sure to be a best seller again. His story? Nah.

OK, then, how about the high school Halloween party I stopped at where they wanted to cram six kids into my car. I told the kid who called for the ride that I only carry four and he got very upset. He insisted that he had ordered an XL version and I told him I was just regular sized. He then swore up and down that he had ordered an XL and I should give them all a ride. I told him no, he then cursed me out and told me to cancel the ride. I drove off before I got out of the the car and was gonna try and cancel him. Considering he had a horde of high school football player types with him, I think it was better that I didn’t. Well, there’s not really much more detail about that story is there?

How about the pair of drunk young ladies talking about the boys they were either looking to spurn or to have sex with… wait. There were about four sets of them. Forget that. 

So, let me share with you the ride I picked up from one of the fancy resort hotels. As I pulled into the resort, there was some huge event going on. The parking lot was full. Cars are parked along the side roads and the front entrance was lit up with fancy lights. Cars in fro t of me dropped off well dressed guests. 

I picked up two gentlemen, and asked them if they were part of the festivities, which they said they were not. But they did say they had a party of 30 people with them and would be at the hotel all week.

As I was driving along, I could overhear the two men talking about why they were there. They were talking about the assignment they had for next week and who would be doing what. One of them asked the other if it was always like this, so I’m guessing it was his first time out. The other one, who sounded more like a superior or a supervisor, said that people were always hooking up during the show. Well, t that was definitely intriguing. A show? People hooking up? 

I had to ask. I told them I could not help but overhear their conversation, and was curious as to what show they were talking about. I said, with all the “hooking up“ it sounded like a show like “The Bachelor.” I wondered if they were filming a new season here. The guy who seemed like he was in charge said, “Not quite, but that show does get a lot of people hooking up.” 

He told me the name of the show, which I will not say, so as not to get him in any immediate trouble. Let’s just say the show was about renovating certain, drinking establishments and saving them from failing. 

I asked if he meant that that his team was hooking up with the people they were helping. Both men told me that they meant that the crew was all having sex with each other. They tended to that doing that a lot as the show required them to be in close quarters for several weeks at a time and it was inevitable that this sort of thing happened. They filmed several episodes over three to four month intervals and would then have some time off before the next season.

They had just come here from another city where they had been at four other establishments over a course of 3 1/2 weeks. Due to the nature of the job, they didn’t really get out much and so all of their downtime was spent at whatever hotel the company put them up at. And they said the company always put them up at really nice properties. Definitely, one of the perks of the job, they told me. Always nice to be at a property where it was nice to hang out and this one had five swimming pools, a golf course, and a full spa, and they were on the company credit card.

They told me that they had gotten here this morning, and as it was a Saturday, it gave them a little downtime. That’s why they were heading out with a rideshare to have some fun in the city. They said they would be doing all the planning for the show tomorrow and then be at the establishment on Monday. 

I asked them about the people they helped. Was it staged at all? Were these places as bad as they seemed with people as dumb as they seemed? They told me that, while it might seem staged, that everything they showed on TV was for real. The ridiculous way the people acted who they were trying to help was on the money. They would be total morons on camera.

Anybody being filmed had to sign a waiver saying that it was OK. The show would have cameras all over the establishment filming constantly. And still, the people who were working at the establishment acted like jackasses.   They told me the employees normally thought they were being cool and showing off for the camera. Not thinking that their actions would totally show why the establishment was failing, which is why the show was being filmed there. 

The crew of 30, I was told, were all purpose. They did everything: the renovations, the camerawork, were film crew, talent wranglers, everything. The supervisor had mentioned how he and three crew members once spent four days in a freezer, having to change out a bunch of pipes that had corroded, because the owners had not taken care of the plumbing. He said everyone does everything. 

They asked me how was the social life of the city. Since they asked to be dropped at a random location downtown that sounded fun to them, they asked to get my input. The previous city they had come from seemed a little too wild for them. A lot of people they met were definitely looking to hook up with the crew. Sometimes to get camera time, other times, just to… y’know. 

While it all seemed like attractive offers to them, they thought if things were this easy, they must come with down sides, oh, like chlamydia. I told them that the city they had been in was very was much more urban than here. I would imagine the people approaching them were looking to score with people in the television industry. 

I told them that this city was more relaxed, that the people here would think that it was cool that they were making a show but wouldn’t have sex to get on camera. Well, then I pointed out that there were a lot of university students in the Greek system who might. I told them that it didn’t mean they couldn’t find that type of fun, if they were looking for it, though. It’s just that the people they would meet up with here would be doing it because they wanted to not because they wanted something… if that made sense. 

I reminded them that it was Halloween weekend. They should have no trouble having finding any fun. I was sure that there would be plenty of college students out and about. There was a big game Saturday night and when that was over, the two should explode. 

As I was dropping them off at a bar downtown, I told them they would have no issues finding a good time. Both men were very upbeat with fun senses of humor, and were obviously enjoying the chance to get out for a night. 

I considered asking them if they hiring any locals to help them while they were in town to work on the program. Maybe earn some extra money on a television set. It had been awhile but I think I still remembered how to work a set. But my days of working behind the scenes on a TV show were behind me. Doubt I had the stamina for it anymore.

I never asked them the name of the establishment they would be helping renovate. I figured I might see the episode one day I told them that I didn’t really watch the show that they work on, but I have seen clips of it while scrolling through my television menu. It was intriguing to me because I wondered if the owners and workers of whatever establishment they helped truly listen to the advice they had been given. I heard a lot of times that the owners would sell the business shortly after they are helped because the resale value goes up after appearing on television. They said that it did happen quite often, but not always. They do follow up episodes on places they helped. Almost all of them were going even better than expected.

As they got out, they thanked me for the information about the local scene. They were looking forward to a week in this town. I told them that I would look for the episode and that I hoped their new assignment wasn’t too bad. Maybe the people they were helping would actually listen to them. The supervisor laughed and said “That wouldn’t be good television, now would it?”

He had a point.