Today I picked up two 40 year old men from a downtown hotel. How do I know they were 40 years old? At some point during the ride, one of them said, “Wow, we were 16 when we were talking about that and 24 years later we are still talking about it!” What were they talking about? I’ll get to that later.
The first thing that they talked about when they got in the car (without so much as an acknowledgment of me) was a girl that one of them knew and the other had met the night before.
Apparently, this woman had 15 pound breasts. How did he know they were 15 pounds? She had told me and then let him lift them and said that they felt like 15 pounds worth of boobs. The other guy was astounded that she let him lift them. Then he commented that she must have huge areolae with tits that big. “They must be like saucers!”
His friend confirmed that they were big and said she had told him that she was looking to get breast reduction surgery. The areola critic then commented that would be odd to have small tits with saucer sized areolae. His friend told him that she told him that the surgery would also fix that to make them proportional. The critic said he liked small nipples and was sure the other girl he met the previous night had nice small nipples.
Before they could change the subject to the other woman, the weight lifter noted that while the woman had 15 pound breasts, she had a big head and her face wasn’t that great. Mr. Areola said he was ok with a substandard face as long as she had great tits. So, gracious of him.
Which brought him to the second woman with the perceived good nipples. She had good sized “mambos” and her nipples were always hard. He had tried to make a move on her using the line “I have a hotel room downtown…” but it didn’t work.
The weight lifter told him that he was sure that line would work. He knew that girl had gone home with “hundreds of guys”. How did he know? He could tell by the way she talked. And he was sure she loved a hotel room. He told the other guy that she probably turned him down because he was so sloppy drunk. If he tried again tonight, not as drunk, he would be good to go. The nipple expert thought that was a good idea and would give it a go.
They both agreed she didn’t have that great a face, either, but her head was more proportional to her body and her tits did look really good. Nipple King then laughed and said how they had talked about these things when they were 16 and were still doing it 24 years later.
These guys were on their way to the college football game and figured there would be a lot of tits there with good faces but after the game were meeting up with the ladies from last night. They doubt they could score on any of the college girls at the game, but they were sure as hell going to try! Insert mutual laughter here.
Looking at these two guys, it was very hypocritical that they commented on faces. Neither of them had square jaws or chiseled features or strong chins or full heads of hair or even sparkling teeth. They were two 40 year old schlubs. And they both looked like they might have some breasts of their own.
I wonder if the women talked about these two in the same manner today.
“Well, they did have breasts but their faces weren’t much… I’m not much of a tits on a guy type woman, but maybe they had more downstairs.”
“With those faces, they better have big dicks!”
Insert mutual laughter here.
For whatever features these women might have, I do hope they have a healthy dose of self-esteem and toss these two jackasses to the curb tonight.
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