8. Porn Categories

Tonight, I picked up a couple from a honkytonk bar called the “Cowpony”: a man in his mid-fifties to early sixties and a woman in her late twenties to early thirties. She looked to be quite inebriated as they approached my vehicle.

 

The man opened the door for her, and she stumbled in, laughing hysterically. She was wearing jeans, boots, and a fabulous wide brimmed hat like something Audrey Hepburn would have worn… it didn’t go with the rest of the outfit, but it was nevertheless fabulous.

 

The man walked around to get into the car from the other side and the girl told me that he was her father… and asked if I had seen that kind of porn. I awkwardly nodded and smiled. The man got in and she then said he wasn’t her father but rather her STEPfather and if I had seen THAT kind of porn. 

Another awkward nod from me as I pulled away.

 

The old man seemed very uncomfortable with her comments. But she continued to talk about how he was her stepfather and how she wanted to take selfies in the back seat for her website. He told me that he just wanted her to get home safely and told her she should just sit and relax.

 

She told him that he needed to get on board with her sense of humor and he told her that he had a different sense of humor.

 

She then let me know that she was a stand-up comedienne and enjoyed jokes that made people uncomfortable. She also informed me that the man with her was a musician and a fuddy duddy. The man definitely sounded uncomfortable with her joking.

 

She got a little peeved by his attitude and said that they were out for a night of fun and he needed to lighten up. She then went on to tell me that he was the father of her BFF. She has known this man all her life and he was like a second father to her. He was visiting Tucson and she wanted to take him to all the country bars as he was from Texas. And she wanted him to have fun… something that he was not having at the moment.

 

She lamented how her BFF, his daughter, was back east and needed to move back west. The man agreed. He said that his daughter being back east was not a good thing for her. The woman agreed.

 

Then she went right back to making him feel awkward by saying that since her BFF didn’t want to come out west, that she wasn’t there to stop her from making the most out of her BFF’s dad being there.

 

He kept apologizing to me for her behavior. He looked super awkward. I told him it was alright and it just seemed like she was having fun making him feel uncomfortable. We got to the next bar and they got out and he looked at me like I was abandoning him.

 

As they entered the bar, I saw her smack him hard on the butt and laugh. I awkwardly nodded and smiled to myself and drove away. I had a moment where I wondered if she was joking about it all or was she going to make a move on her best friend’s dad. 

I’m sure there is a website for that category.